Why am I single? well……
Seems like the more I know the less I understand. All the things I thought I had figured out, I’m learning them again. As I go through life, I redefine what I really want in a female companion. However, once I get what I thought I wanted, I realize that it’s not as it seems. Growing up, I was tunneled to look at the outside and start from there (still cant help but to look sometimes). So as a younger man and even in college, that’s the way I approached relationships. This I know will not lead me to give up my freedom, my “Joie de Vivre”, for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds…. marriage. This institution even though it is some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age, is something that I have faith in. An older engineer from work asked me one day, “ Why are you single, what are you looking for in a girl?” I immediately replied with a stereotypical answer in which I realized was what society would have wanted me to think. “I want a very pretty, smart, educated female with a lot of goals and ambitions”. He responded with some words that you can’t take literally. “Do you want to come home and argue all night, look at each other like who’s going to cook, both of you caught up in your own pride, or do you want to come home to some ass and breast. Of course at first it comes off as very demeaning but over time I realized the true essence of his response.
This response was not meant to be demeaning at all. You see I have dated a variety in types of women. I have my experience with the very educated and career oriented ones and boy was I wrong about that one …..lol. They are sooooo opinionated that everything seems to turn into a debate. It seems as if they are constantly establishing themselves in the relationship and career. They always tend to complain or talk about work when we should be engulfed in other things living life. They are also too educated to conform to the things that elder females did for their husbands. The funny thing is they still want the exact same treatment and luxuries but that’s for a different topic. The independent women I dated share some of the similar flaws as the educated. However, they are so sure that they don’t need a man that ultimately their belief turns true. I have to admit though that the points they make about not depending on a man are very valid it just won’t keep them in a relationship. The cute ones always had this one cute thing about them. That could pertain to their eyes, smile, shape, face, etc. Their demeanor always was something I couldn’t get down with and they always lacked this one thing I couldn’t put my finger on. The majority of the pretty ones remind me of Andre 3000’s song Caroline (made me think of this one girl right off!! Cant stand her for some reason). Their intentions are so selfish that over time their pretty state diminishes. I realized they are only pretty to certain people at certain times and they are quick to catch the next train smoking. Although fixed up, they can be a physical 8 or 9, they don’t stay that way because their not beautiful.
I once heard that being beautiful is when you can take one thing away from a woman’s body and she still is beautiful, then that what makes a woman beautiful. This type of woman doesn’t worry about if her hair or nails are done because it is so irrelevant to the meaning of true beauty. It’s this certain niceness to them that it’s like a glow around them. This niceness doesn’t just pertain to the relationship but everyone they are around. This is what your grandparents meant when they told you about that ,” You’ll just know” business. They don’t worry about what other people think of their relationship most of all and wont judge you. They know that you like them for who they are and not their body. This is what ass and breast are (sounds funny I know..lol). I have seen a couple women like this and even with all this stuff I have going on for myself, I am not lucky enough to find one single. I guess to sum it all up, reread my first sentence …lol !!!
